04/19/2011
Hi Book.
Getting really sick and tired of not having any friends in this stupid fucking place. I'm always just sitting alone being bored. Or walking around alone, being bored. I haven't seen Eli in ages but does he drop by to say hi when he asks where everyone's chilling? Coooourse not. Just goes to the stadium with everyone else. Every time I try to drop in on those groups they treat me like I'm not supposed to be there. I've even been encouraged to leave once or twice. I'm always intruding on their cliquey bullshit. Every Goddamn time. You'd think in the last five months I'd have made at least one friend that actively wants to hang out with me aside from my boyfriend. I thought trying out for the play would help but no, not so far. Probably not going to either. I'm just wasting my time, making a fool of myself.
If it weren't for Roach I think I'd just pack up my shit and leave. Don't think anyone would care, and if they did it's not like they'd be able to find me.
I hate school.
-A
A.L.I.C.E.
-
Designation Alice
- Former Member
- Posts:72
- Joined:Thu Dec 09, 2010 6:54 pm
Re: A.L.I.C.E.
4/21/2011
Hi Book.
I never realized what bullying could do to a person before I enrolled at Westbrook. What it does to kids, how desperate it makes them. Desperate for different things. For kind interactions with others, for a smile from a person walking by, for a simple hello or for someone to say "bless you" when you sneeze. Bullying is a culture. There are kids that do it, and they're built up for it. They're egged on because they're cool or popular, or because everyone thinks it's funny. This school is an oligarchy. They do it for attention, or to lash out, or because they're scared of whoever they're bullying. Sometimes they just do it because they can. Teachers don't do anything. Reports don't do anything. What happens to the people that are targeted?
I spent most of yesterday reading up about bullying, about the importance of friends. Ar hasn't bullied me in a long time, but whenever he's around I try to be as far away as possible, or I don't open my mouth. I haven't been alone with him since that awful day when he started saying the worst things. But just how different is it to be bullied and be ostracized? Couldn't it do the same thing to a person? Can't it hurt someone just as much, or invoke those same feelings of being alone and hate for the world?
I didn't know it until I was browsing the internet late at night, but yesterday was the anniversary of the Columbine massacre. I became obsessed, trying to read up on everything I possibly could. I saw the pictures and the videos, listened to the audio files. Interview after interview, study after study talking about bullying and the horrible things people used to do to each other. The jocks put baby oil on the floor of the caf to watch people slip and hurt themselves. They laughed about it. They literally threw the smaller kids at other outcasts. Called it nerd bowling. They would drive by other students walking in the streets and whip baseball bats out and crack them on the head. Two psychologically unstable boys became constant targets and they snapped. They spared this one guy. He was smoking outside of school and one of them walked by him on the way in. He told him to go home; get out of there; he "liked him" now, and that guy is tormented wondering why he was spared when he and the shooter had hated each other. He talked about how he and the shooter had only barely reconciled before that event - how they'd sat together in class and the Brown said "let's bury the hatchet." Some people think he was spared because getting him then and there would have alerted the other kids, but what if it wasn't? What if it's like the Doctor said;
"You let one of them go, but that's nothing new. Every now and then, a little victim's spared... because she smiled, cause he's got freckles, cause they begged. And that's how you live with yourself, that's how you slaughter millions, because once in a while, on a whim, if the wind's in the right direction, you happen to be kind."
What if Brown showed that kid a smile or -- something, anything. What if he showed him some small insignificant act of kindness when he wasn't expecting it, and that's why he was spared. What if more people had said hello or asked how he was when the guy was having a bad day? Reading through all of this is harrowing. I don't know what to think right now. I'm still processing the information. Listening to the tapes. All of that. The police were informed of Eric's psychotic state - so why did they let it slide? It feels like everyone did everything wrong. It seems so preventable in hindsight.
More importantly, what about the bullying culture at WB? Sure, we have powers, but that only makes the situation MORE important. What if I hadn't been within distance when Joe attacked Roach? What would have happened if nothing had happened? Would Joe have just built up resentment and become an outcast? Maybe bullied? Would he have snapped later?
I never realized the importance of having friends until I came to WB and had none.
Socialization... It's unbelievably important. But what can I do? What can I do to make friends or... What can I do to stop the bullying culture for the sake of the other outcasts? Should I do anything at all? How do I make everyone understand how important a simple hello or a smile can be? I feel like there should be assemblies about this. Maybe I should hold some kind of bullying awareness week. Something about the importance of insignificant acts of kindness... I'll see what Ms. Wilson says.
-A
Hi Book.
I never realized what bullying could do to a person before I enrolled at Westbrook. What it does to kids, how desperate it makes them. Desperate for different things. For kind interactions with others, for a smile from a person walking by, for a simple hello or for someone to say "bless you" when you sneeze. Bullying is a culture. There are kids that do it, and they're built up for it. They're egged on because they're cool or popular, or because everyone thinks it's funny. This school is an oligarchy. They do it for attention, or to lash out, or because they're scared of whoever they're bullying. Sometimes they just do it because they can. Teachers don't do anything. Reports don't do anything. What happens to the people that are targeted?
I spent most of yesterday reading up about bullying, about the importance of friends. Ar hasn't bullied me in a long time, but whenever he's around I try to be as far away as possible, or I don't open my mouth. I haven't been alone with him since that awful day when he started saying the worst things. But just how different is it to be bullied and be ostracized? Couldn't it do the same thing to a person? Can't it hurt someone just as much, or invoke those same feelings of being alone and hate for the world?
I didn't know it until I was browsing the internet late at night, but yesterday was the anniversary of the Columbine massacre. I became obsessed, trying to read up on everything I possibly could. I saw the pictures and the videos, listened to the audio files. Interview after interview, study after study talking about bullying and the horrible things people used to do to each other. The jocks put baby oil on the floor of the caf to watch people slip and hurt themselves. They laughed about it. They literally threw the smaller kids at other outcasts. Called it nerd bowling. They would drive by other students walking in the streets and whip baseball bats out and crack them on the head. Two psychologically unstable boys became constant targets and they snapped. They spared this one guy. He was smoking outside of school and one of them walked by him on the way in. He told him to go home; get out of there; he "liked him" now, and that guy is tormented wondering why he was spared when he and the shooter had hated each other. He talked about how he and the shooter had only barely reconciled before that event - how they'd sat together in class and the Brown said "let's bury the hatchet." Some people think he was spared because getting him then and there would have alerted the other kids, but what if it wasn't? What if it's like the Doctor said;
"You let one of them go, but that's nothing new. Every now and then, a little victim's spared... because she smiled, cause he's got freckles, cause they begged. And that's how you live with yourself, that's how you slaughter millions, because once in a while, on a whim, if the wind's in the right direction, you happen to be kind."
What if Brown showed that kid a smile or -- something, anything. What if he showed him some small insignificant act of kindness when he wasn't expecting it, and that's why he was spared. What if more people had said hello or asked how he was when the guy was having a bad day? Reading through all of this is harrowing. I don't know what to think right now. I'm still processing the information. Listening to the tapes. All of that. The police were informed of Eric's psychotic state - so why did they let it slide? It feels like everyone did everything wrong. It seems so preventable in hindsight.
More importantly, what about the bullying culture at WB? Sure, we have powers, but that only makes the situation MORE important. What if I hadn't been within distance when Joe attacked Roach? What would have happened if nothing had happened? Would Joe have just built up resentment and become an outcast? Maybe bullied? Would he have snapped later?
I never realized the importance of having friends until I came to WB and had none.
Socialization... It's unbelievably important. But what can I do? What can I do to make friends or... What can I do to stop the bullying culture for the sake of the other outcasts? Should I do anything at all? How do I make everyone understand how important a simple hello or a smile can be? I feel like there should be assemblies about this. Maybe I should hold some kind of bullying awareness week. Something about the importance of insignificant acts of kindness... I'll see what Ms. Wilson says.
-A
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests