Ice Angel

[Lauren Lombardi]

Just after Christmas

A landscape blanketed in white stretched before Lauren as she passed through the front door. Slumbering trees reached toward blue sky as if frozen in a lethargic stretch.

A morning breeze sliced through her pajama pants and t-shirt as she closed the door behind her and descended from the porch. Thin ice still coated the sidewalk that had only recently been touched by sunlight, but it was less slippery than she expected. Lauren wrapped her arms around herself shivering. She leaned forward just enough to see her feet as she rocked back on her heels and curled her toes. She wondered whether they would be numb before her powers could warm the frozen pavers.

What was she doing out here? Only crazy people came out here in this kind of weather with no clothes on.

Dee was still asleep inside. Inside where it was warm. Warmer anyway. I should go back.

Snow crunched beneath her feet quietly, almost drowned out by a gasp. She exhaled a plume of vapor and allowed a smile to tug at her lips. This is what winter was about.

But snow withdrew rapidly from where she was standing, as if it was afraid to touch her. Instead of crisp white snow, she was soon standing in a slowly expanding, shallow puddle of mushy grass and warm water.

Right. What was that about crazy people?

At least with Dee visiting, there was a good reason to miss this year’s skating trip.

********************

“I was supposed to join some friends to go skating at the lake after lunch. Did you want to join them?” Don’t ask that way. “We don’t have to if you’d rather not?”

Dee would decline and Lauren would have her excuse. That was what should have happened.

But Dee didn’t know the rules to this game. How could she? “Oh, no. Don’t cancel anything because of me. Sounds like it could be fun.”

Fun. Right. Well, maybe?

Lauren bet that a pair of her old skates stored in a closet in the building that housed the skating rink would probably fit Dee well enough. She wondered if she should just outright cancel the trip. Diya was quizzing her on who the best skater would be. Who she should keep her eyes on. Lauren immediately thought of Lorrie, her best friend and cohort on the ice since kindergarten.

She was so lost in her thoughts that it took her several seconds longer to realize that Dee was teasing her, maybe even flirting with her.

Lauren summoned up a playful grin. “You know, we could hit the ice here if you want to get a head start. Then you don't have to keep your eyes on Lorrie as much. Maybe you can even show her up a little.”

“How quickly the story changes!” Diya chided with a laugh. “You just said Lorrie was better than the rest. Someone suddenly get an ego?”

“Maybe I just don't want to watch you staring at Lorrie all afternoon.” Lauren teased with a smirk that quickly faded. “I don't know how much I'll be skating. I might keep a fire going for everyone to warm up to.”

Dee had her powers for a while. Surely she’d remember.

Diya’s grin was suddenly wiped from her face. “Oh, shit. I'm sorry. I didn't - I wasn't thinking.”

Lauren just shook her head and smiled. “Don't worry about it. Try these on?”

As they were lacing up their skates, it occurred to Lauren that Dee would be the first person at Westbrook to watch Lauren on the ice in person. She had talked to Wyatt about coming along, but they never managed to get around to it. Somehow, that felt right. Maybe because Dee had shared her powers. Maybe because of their shared sports history. Maybe for other reasons.

Lauren started a program, and older favorite of hers, that began with a few simple steps, building quickly into an elaborate affair. She enjoyed showing off for Dee. Knowing that Dee would shortly match her turn for turn and spin for spin, it didn’t even feel like showing off.

Within minutes, Diya launched herself onto the ice in a perfect imitation of Lauren. Lauren knew what to expect, but she found herself holding her breath anyway. “I forget how little time it takes for you to pick things up.”

Diya performed a perfect spin and a little bow. “I learned from the best!”

********************

The lake was ensconced in a layer of ice. Early in the season, with a winter as warm as this one had been, Lauren knew it wouldn’t be thick. Even with a perfunctory scan she could see a few dark areas that should be avoided.

Just about all of Lauren’s friends were already there, waiting on the shore with her cousin Roslyn. As was their tradition, there was already a fire going in a large, elevated bowl brought along for that purpose. A few thermos containers were scattered about, likely containing hot cocoa, tea, or coffee, whatever each owner fancied.

Lauren hiked her bag up on her shoulder and strode toward the group with feigned confidence. She made introductions all around. Dee fit right in, even handling Neil without skipping a beat. Lauren was hardly surprised; she had no doubts Dee could hold her own.

Julio asked, “You skate too, Dee?”

Neil stabbed a finger towards the skates Diya was carrying and scoffed, “Of course not. She’s just here for the scenery.”

“Maybe I'm just here for the wonderful company?” Diya fired a grin off at Neil before answering Julio. “I've skated a bit.”

Neil huffed as he planted himself on a log and lifted his skates from his open bag. “Let’s see what you’ve got then.”

As if Neil had cued them, the others traded shoes and boots for ice skates. Lauren made herself comfortable on a log near the fire bowl. Curious looks were traded around the group. She had warned them a few weeks ago that she might not join them. Some of her friends even knew why, but not all of them. They must have forgotten or thought she was joking. As the stares mounted, Lauren couldn’t stop herself from casting a brief gaze of longing at her own bag, with her skates nestled inside, brought along “just in case.”

Mathew was the first to break the lengthening silence. “Lauren? Aren’t you coming?”

Lauren pursed her lips and shook her head as she gently poked the fire with a stick she had picked up. “You guys get started. I’ll tend the fire for a bit.” She refused to meet Neil’s continued stare, caught from the corner of her eye. Just let me have this, please.

His lips parted and he drew in a breath. Allie glared at him, but Diya cut in. “Hey! You. Neil? You gonna gawk at the fire or you going to step up to that challenge you laid out?”

Lauren caught Neil’s surprised look before she focused on Diya. Was Dee coming to her rescue? Dee had already finished lacing up her skates and was gliding out onto the ice with a confident grace and a frown for Neil.

Neil yelped out a “Hey!” as Jami slapped a playful backhand at his arm.

“She’s got your number.”

Muttering something under his breath, Neil made his way to the ice. “Yeah, well, I didn’t say I’m any good.”

“Oh good. I like easy wins then.” Diya quipped, looking extremely cocky.

Lauren smiled back as Dee sent her a glance accompanied by a grin. She watched with a knowing smirk as Dee slid into the routine they had been through earlier. Dee executed every move near perfectly with only a little wobbling easily attributed to being on the lake’s less smooth surface.

Roslyn hung back at the shore as the others followed Diya and Neil out. “She seems nice. You guys are doing OK?”

“She is nice.” Roslyn knew a great deal about what had happened between the two of them. “I think we’re doing fine.” Lauren spared a glance at Roslyn before returning her attention to Dee. Her breath caught in her throat. It was like watching herself out on the ice. Well, a shorter, purple-pig-tailed, cuter version of herself. Dee skated beautifully, and Lorrie followed her, laughing as Neil threw in the towel early.

I'd also go out on the lake, which I have to admit, I'm looking forward to doing around Christmas. I didn't think I'd be able to do that ever again. Lauren vividly remembered the evening in mid-November when she had said that to Dee. Back when she had Dee’s powers. Now she had her own powers, and all she could do was watch Dee out there on the lake.

“Why aren’t you out there?” Roslyn asked.

Ice skating? When you set yourself on fire? That hardly seems prudent. Delivered in a tone as cold as ice, those words still stung. Was it only a month ago? Still, they were true. Roslyn was staring at her, waiting for a response. Without taking her eyes off Dee she Lauren answered quietly, “I told you. It’s not safe.”

“You told me. I think you’re overreacting.”

“Come on, Roslyn. I know what’s safe and what’s not. This is what I do,” Lauren caught herself, “used to do, remember?”

Roslyn looked away from Lauren and out over the lake. “You haven’t even tried.”

“I’ve been trying plenty. There’s a place in Paragon I go skate all the time.” Lauren stabbed her stick into the fire. She watched as Dee split off to do a few laps, eyeing the dark patches to make sure Dee wouldn’t get too close to them.

“But you haven’t tried out here,” Roslyn near pleaded.

Lauren pushed herself up from her log and stalked toward a tree with a few icicles. They were high enough to be a stretch, but she was able to break two off. “Here. Catch.” She tossed one to Roslyn. “Just hold it.”

A few steps returned her to Roslyn’s side and she held out her hand, with the icicle cradled in her palm already showing deep grooves where her fingers had clutched it. Roslyn did likewise, showing very little damage to her icicle. As they watched, Lauren’s icicle slowly settled in her hand forming a bridge across her palm that shrank until it finally separated, allowing each end to drop away.

“Now feel,” Lauren commanded. She glanced out at Dee, still circling the lake, and touched Roslyn’s cheek with her gloved fingers.

“They’re hot!” Roslyn shrank back and dropped her hand in surprise, her icicle falling clattering against the frozen earth.

They’re not that hot. Lauren’s defensive objection died on her lips. “See? It’s not just that I’m warm. Anything near enough gets warm, too. My gloves. Even my skates,” she finished bitterly.

Roslyn was quiet for a long time as Lauren added a few branches to the fire. “Sorry, Lauren.”

“It’s alright.” Lauren forced a smile for her cousin’s benefit. “I’m fine, really. You should go out there. Have fun with everyone else.”

Roslyn checked her cousin over, uncertainty etched on her face.

Lauren summoned all the reassurance she could muster. “I’m fine. Go!” She smiled again and shooed her off with mock cheerfulness. “I’ll be here when you guys need a break.” The elephant in the room. Always the elephant around here.

By the time Lauren finished building up the fire, Rae called for a game. Dee begged off, citing a need for a fire break to prevent her ears from freezing off. Lauren tried to send her back out, but Dee insisted on staying, entertaining her with innuendo and corny comments until they were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder.

“Thanks for the company.”

“Anytime,” Diya offered. “Thanks for this whole trip. It’s so... normal out here.”

“Yeah, I guess it is. Right now, I don’t feel so normal though.” Lauren tried belatedly to hide her feelings behind a smirk. Cheerleaders were supposed to be cheerful. But maybe I don’t want to be a cheerleader today.

Diya offered a shrug. “I think we all have moments like that. God knows I have more than my share.” She watched the skaters as Lauren sat in silence next to her. “You're right, that Lorrie's pretty good. I think I had more fun skating with you, though.”

“You know, we don’t to have to stay here. We could go back.” Lauren tried not to sound too hopeful. She didn’t want to pull Dee away if she was enjoying herself.

“I don't want to take you away from your friends. They're nice.” Diya eyed Neil. “Most of them.”

“Yeah, but they're all out there.” Lauren sighed quietly. This was a tradition she didn’t see how she was going to be able to keep up. She wondered if she’d ever be able to control this part of her powers. Ever be able to make a real snowball instead of a sloppy mess or help build a snowman again. Or just skate, on a frozen sheet of water under an open sky.

Dee didn’t say anything, making Lauren wonder if she was starting to sound pathetic. Lauren was on the verge of an apology when Dee finally spoke. “Y'know? These skates kind of pinch my feet. Why don't we get out of here?”

Looking down at Dee’s feet, Lauren felt pretty certain they weren’t pinched at all, but she wasn’t inclined to argue. Instead she waved Roslyn over so they could say their goodbyes.

There was still plenty of time before the drive back to Westbrook. Dee admitted that her feet were just fine, so they decided to do their own private skating in the rink behind the house. Chilled concrete flooring made it safe, even if Lauren’s powers meant the ice might be in sad need of resurfacing.

Dee invited Lauren to show off. “And seriously, what do I know about skating, other than I like watching you do it?” she had said. Lauren wasn’t sure what to do and skated aimlessly until she remembered she had one performance left. It was something she and Kurt had started working on almost a year ago. A program no one else had seen, as her powers had manifested before she could bring it before an audience in Moscow. Lauren had constantly tweaked it since then to accommodate those changes. Even Jimmy never saw it. She never practiced it when he was in the building.

It was a performance Lauren had before kept only to herself. When she finished, it was, she was certain, one of the best of her life. Dee was the only one to witness it.

Which was just perfect.