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¿Y, quien voy a ser yo?
Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 4:55 pm
by Juan Alacran
I was itching to jump in. Dyin’. I had it. Was all over it.
I didn’t jump. I watched.
My sister and me had been talkin’ more since I started askin’ ‘bout this chess thing than we had for a long time when we was livin’ together. Gettin’ along better too, which was kinda a surprise. I guess bein’ apart was helpin’ us there. Or maybe it was having something to talk about that we was both into for once.
Then again…maybe it was she was all worried about me. Not that she said that; I doubt she’d ever say somethin’ like that to my face. Closest she came was tellin’ me to be careful. I could still hear it, though, when I got to talkin’ ‘bout patrollin’. That same little tone from when we was kids and I was climbin’ somethin’ I shouldn’t. That same tone that moms got, though Raquel would flip out on me if I told her she sounded like mom.
Anyway, I couldn’t think about that too much. Not and do what I do. Couldn’t think about peeps who be worryin’ about me, about what the ‘bangers could do to me, or what else might happen in a place like Paragon. All I could think about was being the best, unstoppable, indomitable. You wrap yourself all up in, wear it like armor. Live it, and ain’t nothin’ can touch you. Feel it, show it so err’body can see it, and they gonna hesitate cause they can see that you ain’t gonna hesitate. Never stop, make ‘em believe it, and they’ll run or quit because you’ll make ‘em think they ain’t got a shot, or at least that it ain’t worth it, and you save yourself the chance of a bat to the knee, a knife in the back, a shot to the face.
I had it down. I ain’t been meta all that long, but tryin’ to live outside the gang life when they be swallowin’ up barrio after barrio, young latino after young latino…being hard is a way to make it an’ get ahead, instead of just hidin’ all the time and hoping you ain’t get jumped by a gang. It was all second nature to me. ¿Como no? Ain’t like dealing with a shitty situation by bein’ larger’n life be a foreign thing. Hispanics been rockin’ el gran machismo in the face of hard knocks like forever. Other folks like lookin’ down on it and call it arrogant or worse. Whatevs. What it really be is defiance. We know we’re gonna suffer; we’ve always suffered. Long history and the Catholic Church been teachin’ us that too long for doubt. But we just laugh in suffering’s face and come out the baddest mo’ fo’s there be. That’s how we do. That’s how it be to roll as a hardcore latino from the barrio.
But my sister ain’t hearin’ that. She wanna be all higher class than even our folks. But all that meant in school that she be keepin’ her head down, not doin’ much outta the couple things she was in to; she was a nobody. She did, though, get real good at chess, which as comin’ in damn useful now I was tryin’ to up my game.
Like right now, I was practicin’ something she told me. I waited. I watched. I checked out what be goin’ on, tried to see what people be doin’ that they don’t know they doin’. Tried to guess what they be goin’ to do next. Definately not my thing. Like I said, I usually be wantin’ in. But I ain’t about bein’ a one trick pony, so I kept up addin’ a new trick to my bag.
I just watched.
Re: ¿Y, quien voy a ser yo?
Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:37 pm
by Juan Alacran
I grinned as
Delly gave me that trademark wink of hers, slipped on her backpack covered in “cause” buttons, and walked off towards the greenhouse. I gave a lazy wave and walked off myself. Chill chica. There maybe was plenty out there more tempting, but that sure didn’t always mean better.
Take Haley for instance.
In fact…someone takin’ Haley was exactly what I was hoping. Plenty hot…heh…but that was a complicated mess. And she was too much the fixating type for me, on a couple levels. Right now she seemed alright with me backing things up, but I could tell she was still kinda eyein’ me, so I was mostly hopin’ she ain’t spot something that might flare her up again…good or bad…
Bottom line, the whole thing could end up wit’ her lookin’ bad and gettin’ hurt, which hadn’t been in my plan even a little bit. I mean, I’d shift it to make myself look bad instead of her even if she went toda loca; that wouldn’t be too hard an’ my rep could more’n take it. But if she still ended up hurt that ain’t matter much. She needs someone be into what she be into, but…really, we got serious shortage of pyro muchachos, or even invul dudes into pyro.
Well, I did hear Wyatt likes to play wit’ fire, but that’d be a way bigger mess. ‘Sides, don’t usually pay to play into the Rumor Mill that way. So instead all I got is warnin’ others off so they ain’t walk into it blind like I did, and hurt or get hurt.
Anyway.
Thinkin’ ‘bout all that makes me think about my latest play, cause I had a lil’ voice tellin’ me I might be walkin’ into it again. True, I be totes up front wit’ her, nothin’ but straight truth; I never roll any other way wit’ the chicas. And she be way up front wit’ me right back: she was the get attached type. But we still ended up heating it up at the end of the night. This one was gonna take some careful steppin’, an’ you’d thinks I wanna spare myself, but nah. Ain’t nothin’ good in life without risk. ‘Sides…since when can I help myself? She be a cutie, wit’ sweet on top, but ain’t nobody’s fool. That’s good stuff right there.
Which didn’t mean I ain’t have other plays dancin’ round at the back of my mind.
Yeah, I was definitely in trouble.
Sigh. Que lastima que las todas no pueden ser como la rubia.
Re: ¿Y, quien voy a ser yo?
Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 4:57 pm
by Juan Alacran
I got back up. Claro que si. I always do. They wasn’t lookin’ for me to do it, though, which gave my scorp-heal a couple extra seconds to get me where I could deal wit’ it. It wasn’t enough; but then I ain’t exactly big leagues yet. Not a lot of things provin’ that more’n being taken down by clowns. Thing is, they got mad numbers. One hornet rarely be a big thing, unless you got ‘llergic. Or they get ya inna soft spot. Or you ain’t see it comin’. Or…ok, maybe one
can be kinda bad. But it always way worse in swarm.
And that’s where I was, way deep in the swarm of ‘em. I mean, if err’body wanna roll out for patrol, how’m I gonna say no? So I was down. And I thought I knew what I was gettin’ into…thought I was more’n covered…but them clowns prove me wrong. They be multiplyin’, coming outta corners, and they rolled out at me wit’ a quickness. I mighta let how I been doin’ lately pump me up more’n it shoulda. Now, they were workin’ me over good, makin’ me pay. I was givin’ it to ‘em hard, don’t doubt it, but I was fightin’ the Hydra without fire: two more for every one I got.
Ok, I’m spendin’ too much time talkin’ to my sister. The Hydra?
Anyway, long story short they was wailin’ at me, an’ down I went. Really, the beatin’ was mostly bruises and cuts, lil’ bit of scorch; nothin’ serious or medport woulda bailed me by then. Thing was though, I felt err’thing twice.
The docs that be studyin’ me at the university told me they were lookin’ into bein’ able to make a painkiller outta my venom that would be the shit; soon as they did, I was so first in line. Whatever else I had goin’ on with my scorp, “not feeling beatdowns” wasn’t part of it. I had my scorp-heal, which fixed things as I went…but, somethin’ I realized? Healing don’t feel good until its kinda already done, least my kinda healin’. Brought it up to the docs, that’s what they be for right? An’ they said it’s prolly cause my nerve endings ain’t adapt enough when I went meta to realize that scorp-heal fixin’ things be different from whatever cause the hurt in the first place. So my hurts go away quick, but the pain be double in that stretch. Ain’t that a bitch.
Not that I’m tellin’ anybody else that. If I gotta take it double err’time I get anythin’ from a paper cut on up, that’s just how it be, right? Right. "En la vida hay que sufrir". Ain’t no way I’m lettin’ it out that I can pass out from pain like that. I don’t need no 'oh you poor thing' pity party. Plus you never know sometimes who gonna turn on you, an’ if that got around the wrong person might use it. I can just hear the talk about “Fainting Juan” now. Least, that’s def’ how it would roll back home. And with Nilesh still around? Yeah, ain’t no way that’s getting’ on the rumor mill if I can help it.
And addin’ injury to injury, any painkiller I can get my hands on can’t do nothin’ for nothin’ ‘fore my scorp-heal treats it like tox an’ breaks it down. And, of course, my scorp-heal be treatin’ drinks like they tox too so I can’t even get really drunk either. Wicked bitter, know what I’m sayin’? Course, till last night I ain’t know there be such a thing as pain drunk. Kinda like reg’lar drunk, ‘cept without any of the good parts, and the hangover be comin’ on hard an’ fast right on top.
"Y veras en la vida hay que sufrir, y veras en la vida hay que luchar". Just not always in that order.
Re: ¿Y, quien voy a ser yo?
Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 8:43 pm
by Juan Alacran
“Looks to me like you’re frontin’, cape. Think you can take us all on?” The Skull asked. I looked at the group of them. Too many. Definitely too many. There was no way I could take ‘em all. And their top dog was a big dude, too. Built. Plus whatever weird Skull thing he might have goin’ on; they may not be breakin’ the world apart, but some Skulls had surprises. Can’t never be too sure in Paragon. Especially in the grimy spots the Skulls loved. Like this one, not a block and a half away from PPD headquarters in the Row.
“Please. I’d take y’all down an’ then head to the gym for a real workout.” My heart was thumping, and I was really really hoping none of them got fed up with talk and made a move. If just one pounced, they were all going to, and that would be very bad news. My voice was steady, though. “In fact, big guy, I’d take you down an’ be gettin’ it on wit’ your girl before the cops even got around to processin’ ya down at the station.”
“That’s some big mouth you have, kid. “
“I got a big err’thing. That’s why your sister gonna be hollerin’ my name by the time them cops get done processin’ you and line up a ride to the Zig.”
“You little shit! You’re gonna pay for that mouth, and I got all kinds of ways to make you.” Nice. Pretty obviously, he actually had a sister. And now I’d gotten to their top dog, was in his head. The others were still tensed, but it was starting to turn into a show; his boys were gonna start relaxing some, more into what was gonna get said next than jumping in at first chance. If I could keep it going a little.
“Your momma got ways to pay too, she paid me good for usin’ it on ‘er last night.” I’m pretty sure I heard one of them at the back of the pack cut off a snicker after that one.
“And I’m gonna make you kiss my ass for talking. Literally. And then maybe I cut your lips off and take them home with me.”
“You’re gonna? You? From what your girl an’ your sister an’ your momma be sayin’ between moans, all you got the cojones to do is hide behind your gang colors. You ain’t got no pair to come at me.”
“You don’t know who you talkin’ to talkin’ like that.”
“That’s ‘cause I’m talkin’ to a nobody. Hey, did you join the Skulls cause that’s the only ‘bone’ you got?”
By then, the pack was ready to see a one-on-one fight, ready to see their alpha defend his spot. They weren’t thinking mob anymore. They weren’t disappointed either; the top Skull ran at me, pulling at a gun he had in his waistband at the small of his back. Crap. Not good.
I scoffed, to keep from makin’ some other kinda sound that might clue them into what I was really feelin’. Then I moved closer in, tryin’ to get inside his reach. Standard move when you’re short and get in fights; in a meta fight, when there’s folks throwin’ crazy shit like fire an’ lightinin’ and I’m a face-to-face guy, the instict served me good.
He tried to step back, off balance cause he ain’t expect me to come at ‘im. He flailed his arm around, tryin’ to bring the barrel on me; I thrust my arms at his gun arm, tryin’ to knock it away, knock the gun out his hand, get his fingers useless wit’ my scorp-juice…something, anything.
I heard the sharp crack, felt the sharp stab of pain. Then I felt it again, ‘cause scorp-healed kicked in. Even I couldn’t help gasping at that. Everything seemed to kinda stop, pause. Even the other Skulls seemed to be still, holdin’ their breaths. I looked down at my arm. The heal was working, that was for sure. Even still, you could see that the spine, that piece of exoskeletal that connected to my venom gland, had been snapped and tore off almost down to the root. It hurt more’n I thought it would; I was bleedin’ and I was pretty sure drippin’ venom too. Great, I’d be usin’ my heal to fight off my own juice. Good thing my body was real good at it; my speciality, really.
About then, though, I noticed the Skull top dog. He was lookin’ at his arm in complete shock.
My spine stuck out of it on both sides, impaled all the way through. The gun was lying forgotten on the pavement. He was freakin’ out. I mean…it looked freakin’ wild stickin’ in ‘im like that. I woulda been freaked, and I am a meta freak.
“Don’t pull it out,” a voice said. “If that drove into major arteries? You’d bleed out inna heartbeat. And it might tear ‘em up more. Plus it might pump more venom from in the spine into you. “ It was then I realized the voice was mine. The Skull looked up at me, utter shock as painted on his features as the Skull face.
“I…” he began. And ended.
“Stay still. Cops’ll come, get you help. Or you can risk dyin’ at worst, loosin’ your arm at best. Your choice, gangbanger.”
“I…I’ll stay.”
I looked up at the remaining Skulls, none of whom seemed at all aggressive any more. “Zonk, mo’ fo’s. Turn tail right now.”
Some hesitated, a couple seemed to measure the situation. In the end, they all ran. The former top dog slumped down, holdin’ his arm. Waitin’ like a good lil’ boy. I gave ‘im one last look, then jump up onto a ledge, and from there a fire escape. That was when I slumped down, a chill runnin’ up my spine. My hands were shakin’. The hell. Did I just break off an exoskeletal inside someone? Did he stab himself then break it off? The hell just happened?
By the time I came back to myself, the cops had already shown. I stayed where I was. I sure as shit ain’t feel like talkin’ to them, even if I was the one that called ‘em down.
¡¿Que carajo acaba de pasar?!