Pity Party, Population: One
Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 3:43 pm
((Warning: Some adult language is used.))
Miserable. That was one way to put it. A constant feeling of dread and despair….well maybe those words were too harsh to describe what Chase was feeling. Frustration and begrudging contempt? Alright, those sound a little better, but it was still hard to put into words the emotions than ran through Chase thanks to Lark’s powers.
It was funny, Chase didn’t blame Lark for how her powers worked, or that he had her powers by Fate’s cruel hand, but he simply hated how it made him feel; always on edge, always snappy and ready to blow up at the worst moment. He felt like he had just lost the Championship game just moments before….all the time. Directionless fury that boiled about inside of him with no real outlet. The only outlet Chase did have was to bask in the misery of others.
It was the only release Chase could find that really did anything to improve his mood. Sure, he could fake being happy with the best of them. Hanging out in Westy’s and having milkshakes…that was supposed to be fun; but now it only dragged on him. Enjoyment from that kind of pastime was an illusion, and Chase both knew and hated it.
But he also loved it.
It wasn’t an instantaneous thing, but the more he found himself around those in the depths of despair, fear and hate, the more he wanted to be there. To observe, to bask, and let it infiltrate, expand, and fill him with a giddy, dark pleasure unlike anything he had experienced; and when he wasn’t around those emotions, it was more than draining on him. It was frustrating. It drove him to an even shorter fuse and a twitchiness that almost made him shake at times. He was getting to the point where he couldn’t get through most days without basking in misery and “equalizing” himself (As Lark called it) at least three times a day. It was why he was staying away from his friends and always leaving campus as soon as he could.
Partially.
Partially because it wasn’t the only reason. True, he didn’t want to make his friends miserable…that hadn’t changed. After all, wouldn’t it be better to spare his friends and make random strangers feel misery? Especially if they deserved it? Yeah….that’s how Chase reasoned it at least. That way he’d be free of their own anger. Their distrust, their frustration, and moreover….
Their pity.
That’s what really got to him, deep down. That’s what made him snap at Ar, and distance himself from his friends. He couldn’t stand the look of pity in their eyes.
Poor Chase. He has to deal with this burden all on his own. The poor boy. It must be so hard. I feel so sorry for him...
God he HATED that….he hated those looks, those sad eyes, those wobbly lips and pouted up noses. Chase didn’t want their pity. Fuck their pity, give it to someone who needs it.
Those powers are so miserable on him….He was so nice before….He has to force himself to stay miserable or make everyone else around him miserable. The poor boy.
Who needed pity? Not Chase. Pity was an insult to him. You can take your pity and shove it up your ass! He was Chase Fucking Masters. He was a star quarterback. A star running back. One of the most popular kids in school! He wasn’t a person to be pitied; he was a person to be envied! Someone for those who didn’t have the drive, the passion, the fire to make something of themselves to look up to and say “Man, I wish I was more like Chase.”
His parents didn’t come to the game again….They never have come to a game. They’re always working…Poor kid.
Chase Masters. King of the school. An All-Star. He made something of himself. He will make himself into something greater. Thor. God of Thunder and Lightning. Shock and Awe. People would remember him. Anything to get that look out of their eyes. Stop looking at him like that. Stop it! Get the fuck away!
Oh, I’m sorry Chase, sweetie, how about you show your father? I’m sure he’d love to see the picture. I’m just so busy right now, I promise I’ll look at it later….Son, I’m busy. Go outside and play….Hey Chase! Why don’t we ever have a party at your house?....Thank you all for coming out to participate in Career Day! I’m sure the kids had a wonderful time listening to all the different possibilities that are before them when they…Chase? Where are you going?
==========================================================================
“Chase? Mr. Masters?” Ms. Wilson asked, calling after the short blonde kid in the hallway who had brushed past her in his hurried daze. Almost as if waking up from a dream, Chase’s head snapped up and spun around to look at her. He looked like a wreck. Dark bags were under his bloodshot eyes and his face looked gaunt and pale. “Are you alright?”
Chase gave a nervous and slightly annoyed look around the hallway, which was still milling with students after the fourth period bell. “Yeah, I’m fine Ms. Wilson. Just….trying to stay ready for the game against Collingswood, that’s all….can’t let this whole powerswap mess get to me.” Ms. Wilson frowned as Chase gave his jittery response. The boy had Lark Lowell’s powers, and wasn’t taking it well. He must be going through a lot of stressful moments. It couldn’t have been easy on him. Chase’s face twitched briefly as he scratched his arm. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude Ms. Wilson, but I gotta get going or I’ll be late for Algebra.”
“Oh, right, yes.” She said quickly, concern growing deeper inside of her. Chase had never once been in to see her aside from the initial interview when he arrived. Even since the whole powerswap debacle, he had stayed away from her office. An alpha personality like his probably sees going to see her to be a weakness. “Do be careful with your practicing Chase and if you ever need to talk, my door is always open.”
Chase gave a non-committal nod and rushed off, leaving Ms. Wilson in the quickly emptying hallway. She frowned again and pulled out a small notepad from a blouse pocket, writing herself a quick reminder to talk to Coach Armstrong about Chase’s behavior. It was probably nothing, but she wanted to make sure.
Clicking her pen to retract the ball point back into its protective housing, Ms. Wilson walked back towards her office, concern etched on her face.
Miserable. That was one way to put it. A constant feeling of dread and despair….well maybe those words were too harsh to describe what Chase was feeling. Frustration and begrudging contempt? Alright, those sound a little better, but it was still hard to put into words the emotions than ran through Chase thanks to Lark’s powers.
It was funny, Chase didn’t blame Lark for how her powers worked, or that he had her powers by Fate’s cruel hand, but he simply hated how it made him feel; always on edge, always snappy and ready to blow up at the worst moment. He felt like he had just lost the Championship game just moments before….all the time. Directionless fury that boiled about inside of him with no real outlet. The only outlet Chase did have was to bask in the misery of others.
It was the only release Chase could find that really did anything to improve his mood. Sure, he could fake being happy with the best of them. Hanging out in Westy’s and having milkshakes…that was supposed to be fun; but now it only dragged on him. Enjoyment from that kind of pastime was an illusion, and Chase both knew and hated it.
But he also loved it.
It wasn’t an instantaneous thing, but the more he found himself around those in the depths of despair, fear and hate, the more he wanted to be there. To observe, to bask, and let it infiltrate, expand, and fill him with a giddy, dark pleasure unlike anything he had experienced; and when he wasn’t around those emotions, it was more than draining on him. It was frustrating. It drove him to an even shorter fuse and a twitchiness that almost made him shake at times. He was getting to the point where he couldn’t get through most days without basking in misery and “equalizing” himself (As Lark called it) at least three times a day. It was why he was staying away from his friends and always leaving campus as soon as he could.
Partially.
Partially because it wasn’t the only reason. True, he didn’t want to make his friends miserable…that hadn’t changed. After all, wouldn’t it be better to spare his friends and make random strangers feel misery? Especially if they deserved it? Yeah….that’s how Chase reasoned it at least. That way he’d be free of their own anger. Their distrust, their frustration, and moreover….
Their pity.
That’s what really got to him, deep down. That’s what made him snap at Ar, and distance himself from his friends. He couldn’t stand the look of pity in their eyes.
Poor Chase. He has to deal with this burden all on his own. The poor boy. It must be so hard. I feel so sorry for him...
God he HATED that….he hated those looks, those sad eyes, those wobbly lips and pouted up noses. Chase didn’t want their pity. Fuck their pity, give it to someone who needs it.
Those powers are so miserable on him….He was so nice before….He has to force himself to stay miserable or make everyone else around him miserable. The poor boy.
Who needed pity? Not Chase. Pity was an insult to him. You can take your pity and shove it up your ass! He was Chase Fucking Masters. He was a star quarterback. A star running back. One of the most popular kids in school! He wasn’t a person to be pitied; he was a person to be envied! Someone for those who didn’t have the drive, the passion, the fire to make something of themselves to look up to and say “Man, I wish I was more like Chase.”
His parents didn’t come to the game again….They never have come to a game. They’re always working…Poor kid.
Chase Masters. King of the school. An All-Star. He made something of himself. He will make himself into something greater. Thor. God of Thunder and Lightning. Shock and Awe. People would remember him. Anything to get that look out of their eyes. Stop looking at him like that. Stop it! Get the fuck away!
Oh, I’m sorry Chase, sweetie, how about you show your father? I’m sure he’d love to see the picture. I’m just so busy right now, I promise I’ll look at it later….Son, I’m busy. Go outside and play….Hey Chase! Why don’t we ever have a party at your house?....Thank you all for coming out to participate in Career Day! I’m sure the kids had a wonderful time listening to all the different possibilities that are before them when they…Chase? Where are you going?
==========================================================================
“Chase? Mr. Masters?” Ms. Wilson asked, calling after the short blonde kid in the hallway who had brushed past her in his hurried daze. Almost as if waking up from a dream, Chase’s head snapped up and spun around to look at her. He looked like a wreck. Dark bags were under his bloodshot eyes and his face looked gaunt and pale. “Are you alright?”
Chase gave a nervous and slightly annoyed look around the hallway, which was still milling with students after the fourth period bell. “Yeah, I’m fine Ms. Wilson. Just….trying to stay ready for the game against Collingswood, that’s all….can’t let this whole powerswap mess get to me.” Ms. Wilson frowned as Chase gave his jittery response. The boy had Lark Lowell’s powers, and wasn’t taking it well. He must be going through a lot of stressful moments. It couldn’t have been easy on him. Chase’s face twitched briefly as he scratched his arm. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude Ms. Wilson, but I gotta get going or I’ll be late for Algebra.”
“Oh, right, yes.” She said quickly, concern growing deeper inside of her. Chase had never once been in to see her aside from the initial interview when he arrived. Even since the whole powerswap debacle, he had stayed away from her office. An alpha personality like his probably sees going to see her to be a weakness. “Do be careful with your practicing Chase and if you ever need to talk, my door is always open.”
Chase gave a non-committal nod and rushed off, leaving Ms. Wilson in the quickly emptying hallway. She frowned again and pulled out a small notepad from a blouse pocket, writing herself a quick reminder to talk to Coach Armstrong about Chase’s behavior. It was probably nothing, but she wanted to make sure.
Clicking her pen to retract the ball point back into its protective housing, Ms. Wilson walked back towards her office, concern etched on her face.