Scary Stories

[Lorne Hazlewood]

First and foremost thanks to B who edited all this up for me.

This will be posted in multiple parts throughout the next couple of days. This is adapted from chat logs from the Friday night event last week to kick off the second story arc. It took place late on Friday night inside the library. It was a small party hosted by Lorne with chips, drinks and the telling of scary stories. We start just as they're meeting up in the library.

Lorne Hazlewood: Heya, B.
Bronka Hajjar: Hey L
Lorne Hazlewood: You ready for some scary stories?
Bronka Hajjar: You going to tell us about your first date?
Lorne Hazlewood: No no... I don't want everyone to have nightmares. I just want them to be scared.
Toshiko Rikuo snickers.
Bronka Hajjar: Gotcha.
Lorne Hazlewood: Heya, Tosh.
Bronka Hajjar: Hey Tosh
Lorne Hazlewood: I think we're gonna meet up down here. I've got some snacks set out.
Lorne Hazlewood: How was you guys' day today?
Bronka Hajjar: Pretty dull, but I'm not complaining for once.
Lorne Hazlewood: Yeah? Have you had enough excitement lately?
Toshiko Rikuo: It was alright, I guess.
Bronka Hajjar: I wouldn't say that, but I woke up tired. Was glad not to have to rush around all stressed out.
Lorne Hazlewood: I'm anti stress.
Lorne Hazlewood: Anything interesting happen today, Tosh?
Toshiko Rikuo: Not really. Took a test. Passed it.
Lorne Hazlewood pulls out his cell phone and flips through the songs on it until he finds Ghost Ship by Tripod.
Lorne Hazlewood looks up and grins a toothy grin.
Lorne Hazlewood: I figure we need a scary song to kick us off.
Lorne Hazlewood presses play and the comedy song kicks off.
Bronka Hajjar: This is scary?
Toshiko Rikuo laughs a little. "Nice."
Lorne Hazlewood: *The three band members sing* "GHOST SHIP! Coming to get you!"
Lorne Hazlewood: "GHOST SHIP! Sinners beware!"
Lorne Hazlewood: "GHOST SHIP! Ain't no escaping!"
Lorne Hazlewood: "GHOST SHIP! The ship is coming there!"
Lorne Hazlewood: *One member in a high voice* "TOOT TOOT!"
Lorne Hazlewood: *The music stops and there is a brief pause* "What was that?"
Lorne Hazlewood: "Oh, it was the horn of the ghost ship."
Lorne Hazlewood: "That was the horn?!? It's supposed to be scary!"
Lorne Hazlewood: *In a slightly lower voice* "TOOOT TOOOT"
Lorne Hazlewood laughs.
Lorne Hazlewood: I love this song.
Bronka Hajjar: Okay.
Lorne Hazlewood listens as it comes to an end.
Toshiko Rikuo: Wow, Lorne. Just wow.
Lorne Hazlewood: Well... I think that sets the mood for scary stories.
Bronka Hajjar: If you say so.
Lorne Hazlewood gets up and gets himself some snacks.
Lorne Hazlewood: You guys want anything?
Lorne Hazlewood picks himself up some chips and dip and a can of coke.
Bronka Hajjar: Got any pretzels?
Lorne Hazlewood hunts around and pours some pretzels into a bowl.
Bronka Hajjar: And a root beer. Or a coke if you don't got.
Lorne Hazlewood hands her a bowl of pretzels and then returns for a soda.
Toshiko Rikuo: Cheese puffs. And root beer. Please.
Bronka Hajjar: Thanks, Lorne.
Lorne Hazlewood digs through the cooler and pulls out two root beers.
Lorne Hazlewood dumps some cheese puffs into another bowl.
Lorne Hazlewood tucks a coke under his chin.
Lorne Hazlewood picks up the two root beers with one hand.
Lorne Hazlewood picks up his plate of chips and dip in his other hand and sets it on the bowl of cheese puffs.
Lorne Hazlewood carefully picks up the bowl balancing the plate on top.
Lorne Hazlewood holds out two root beers to Bronka.
Bronka Hajjar takes a root beer
Lorne Hazlewood carefully walks over to Tosh.
Bronka Hajjar: Thanks L
Lorne Hazlewood holds out the other root beer his chin still tucked in towards his chest.
Toshiko Rikuo grins up at him.
Toshiko Rikuo: Can I stall and see how long you can balance all that?
Lorne Hazlewood smiles.
Lorne Hazlewood tosses the root beer up into the air at Tosh.
Lorne Hazlewood: Catch!
Bronka Hajjar: I'm sure they taught him to balance cheese puffs all day in Ninja school.
Toshiko Rikuo flinches but manages to catch it.
Lorne Hazlewood deftly reaches across pulls his plate off the bowl and then sets the bowl of cheese puffs in her lap.
Toshiko Rikuo: Now I can't open it.
Lorne Hazlewood then lets the coke roll down his chest and catches it in his now free hand.
Lorne Hazlewood: Should have thought about that when you had the chance to take it.
Lorne Hazlewood grins and walks back to his seat.
Bronka Hajjar: Oh snap!
Toshiko Rikuo sticks her tongue out at Lorne and throws a cheese puff at him.
Lorne Hazlewood tries to catch it in his mouth and blinks a few times as it manages to get stuck between his glasses and his eye.
Bronka Hajjar giggles
Toshiko Rikuo laughs. "That's karma."
Lorne Hazlewood pulls his glasses down his nose and lets the puff fall in his lap.
Lorne Hazlewood picks it up and eats it.
Lorne Hazlewood goes ahead and pulls off his glasses and rubs his shirt over them cleaning off the excess cheese dust.
Lorne Hazlewood: B, Tosh? Did one of you want to start, or should I?
Toshiko Rikuo: I'm still working on mine I guess.
Bronka Hajjar: I don't want to start.
Toshiko Rikuo: I suck at telling stories.
Lorne Hazlewood pops open his coke and scoops up way to much dip for a single chip before cramming it in his mouth.
Lorne Hazlewood washes it down real quick.
Lorne Hazlewood: Ok. I'll start.
Lorne Hazlewood sets the plate and drink to the side.
Bronka Hajjar: Come on, bring the rock, Lorne.
Lorne Hazlewood grins.
Lorne Hazlewood: Have either of you ever heard of the Iroquois Theatre in Chicago?
Toshiko Rikuo shakes her head.
Bronka Hajjar: I have not.
Lorne Hazlewood: The Iroquois theatre opened in November 1903.
Lorne Hazlewood: It was touted as being fire proof.
Lorne Hazlewood: The first show it ran was called Mr. Bluebeard. It was about a guy who kept killing all his wives.
Bronka Hajjar hisses
Lorne Hazlewood: A musical at that.
Bronka Hajjar: Really?
Lorne Hazlewood: Indeed.
Toshiko Rikuo: That in and of itself is scary.
Lorne Hazlewood: The show was doing poorly but then on December 30th for some reason the theatre was packed.
Lorne Hazlewood: Some say it was because of the holiday, others say it was fate, but the audience that day was predominantly women and children.
Bronka Hajjar: To see a musical about a wife killer?
Lorne Hazlewood: Different times I guess... but I assure you... the story I'm telling is 100 percent true.
Lorne Hazlewood: It was 8 degrees outside in the windy Chicago winter so maybe it was just people in the city seeking to get out of the cold for a while.
Lorne Hazlewood: Little did they know how warm things were going to get.
Lorne Hazlewood: The theatre was packed. All the way to capacity and then some.
Lorne Hazlewood: There were over 2,000 people in the theatre that day on three levels.
Lorne Hazlewood: The standing area was so full that by the second act many had gone to sit in the aisles between the seats.
Lorne Hazlewood looks over.
Frictional Character waves.
Lorne Hazlewood: Hey, Laura!
Frictional Character: Mind if I sit?
Bronka Hajjar: Hey Laura.
Lorne Hazlewood points to the chips and drinks on the bench across from Tosh.
Lorne Hazlewood: Sure thing! Grab some snacks and sit down.
Lorne Hazlewood: I was just telling the first story.
Lorne Hazlewood: You haven't missed too much yet. Over 2000 people were crammed into a theatre to watch a musical about a wife killer in 1903.
Bronka Hajjar: It's terrifying. There's a *musical* in it!
Frictional Character chuckles.
Lorne Hazlewood grins.
Lorne Hazlewood: Also this is a true story.
Lorne Hazlewood goes back in to creepy story teller mode...
Lorne Hazlewood: Then during a dance routine in the middle of the second act a spotlight in the rafters shorted out and sent sparks into a muslin curtain.
Lorne Hazlewood: The curtain caught fire instantly and began to burn.
Frictional Character fidgets nervously.
Lorne Hazlewood: No one noticed at first... but then the fire spread to dozens of painted canvases stored in the rafters.
Lorne Hazlewood: Soon the entire ceiling was a blaze... directly over two thousand people.
Lorne Hazlewood: The lead of the show stepped out and tried to reassure the audience that everyone would be ok... but it was to late panic had ensued.
Frictional Character squirms.
Bronka Hajjar: I thought this place was sup... nevermind, go on.
Lorne Hazlewood: Many of the people in the isles were trampled to death as the audience tried to make their way to the exits only to find that they were gated and locked as was customary for the theatre at the time.
Lorne Hazlewood: The emergency exits were covered over by thick curtains because they thought they'd never need to use them.
Frictional Character chews on her fingernails.
Toshiko Rikuo: See? This is why you say "resistant" or "retardant". Not "proof".
Lorne Hazlewood: When they were found by the patrons they found that they too were locked.
Lorne Hazlewood: When they found the key they found the lock to be completely different from any they had seen before.
Lorne Hazlewood: The locks they used were quite common in England, but the style was almost unheard of in America.
Lorne Hazlewood: They were picked for their uniqueness and style.
Lorne Hazlewood: It took minutes before they found anyone in the crowd who knew how to work them... by this time the entire ceiling was ablaze and fire rained down burning the seats...
Tr1ck Shot: Boo.
Bronka Hajjar: Hey Artie
Frictional Character jumps!
Toshiko Rikuo: Hey, Ar.
Lorne Hazlewood looks up at Ar and nods before continuing his story.
Lorne Hazlewood: They poured out of the theatre... but the ones on the top floor were not so lucky.
Frictional Character bites her lip, eyes wide.
Lorne Hazlewood: You see as I mentioned the theatre was gated off and locked between floors to keep people from buying cheap tickets in the gallery and then going down to sit on the floor.
Lorne Hazlewood: The top two levels were still fully populated with terrified theatre goers as the theatre was lit ablaze all around them.
Lorne Hazlewood: They managed to break out a window to the fire escape and many stepped out on to it only to find that the fire escape had never been completed.
Bronka Hajjar: Oh shit
Lorne Hazlewood: In the 8 degree weather it was also covered in ice and as people continued to push out people began to slip and tumble over the side falling multiple stories to their death.
Toshiko Rikuo: Eesh.
Lorne Hazlewood: People continue to jump or push others out to try to escape the blaze. It was complete chaos.
Lorne Hazlewood: Soon, and this is possibly the most horrific part of all, people were able to survive the jump because the bodies of the dead and injured had piled so high under the fire escape as to cushion their fall.
Tr1ck Shot smirks.
Frictional Character shakes.
Lorne Hazlewood: Meanwhile in the back the cast were working on their own escape trying to push open the double doors to the loading dock but finding it locked from the outside.
Lorne Hazlewood: They continued to push and beat on the doors until a passerby came with some tools he'd been carrying and broke the lock.
Lorne Hazlewood: The door flew open as a cyclone of cold air rushed in around the cast knocking them back.
Bronka Hajjar: Who locks doors on the outside?
Lorne Hazlewood: The theatre which had been burning for nearly 20 minutes straight at this point filled with the cold air...
Lorne Hazlewood: The fire flew over the heads of the few people left on the bottom floor below but the newly found oxygen for the fire to burn turned into a fireball killing nearly instantly all those who were left on the top two stories.
Frictional Character looks very sick and runs off.
Lorne Hazlewood: When everything was said and done over six hundred people were dead... burned, trampled, or broke-
Lorne Hazlewood: Uh...
Bronka Hajjar: Uh... Laura?
Tr1ck Shot snickers.
Lorne Hazlewood: I'll go check on her.
Toshiko Rikuo: Someone wanna go- yeah.
Tr1ck Shot: Well then.
Bronka Hajjar: Well it *was* pretty sickening.
Toshiko Rikuo: Yeah. A little.
Tr1ck Shot: What? The human moon bounce?
Bronka Hajjar: Moon bounce?
Toshiko Rikuo: The problem is... It's a true story.
Tr1ck Shot: Big inflatable thing?
Lorne Hazlewood: I think she's up in her room...
Lorne Hazlewood: I can't get in... ya know... cause of the I'm a dude, thing.
Toshiko Rikuo: I'll go.
Lorne Hazlewood: Thanks.
Tr1ck Shot: Still got your Halloween costume?
Lorne Hazlewood: Shut.
Bronka Hajjar: That only fools Teen Phalanx guys anyway.
Lorne Hazlewood: You know... I didn't even think about Laura's powers...
Tr1ck Shot: Is she afraid of fire?
Lorne Hazlewood: She sets things on fire...
Tr1ck Shot: I knew that part.
Bronka Hajjar: I'd have thought she'd be okay with fire because of that.
Bronka Hajjar: I mean, she doesn't freak *herself* out every day.
Lorne Hazlewood: Maybe... I guess it depends on whether or not you ever set something on fire you didn't mean to...
Bronka Hajjar: Err.... that I know of.
Tr1ck Shot: Only way she freaks herself out is looking at whet she's wearing.
Lorne Hazlewood: You guys ok?
Tr1ck Shot: Sure.
Bronka Hajjar: Yeah, I'm fine.
Bronka Hajjar: Well, a little sickened and depressed, but that's nothing.
Lorne Hazlewood: Ok... just checking that I didn't like accidentally pick the most traumatizing event in US history.
Tr1ck Shot: There are a few worse ones out there.
Lorne Hazlewood: Yeah.
Lorne Hazlewood: I chose this one because most people haven't heard of it... I hadn't before the start of this week..
Lorne Hazlewood: She ok?
Lorne Hazlewood: Did you find her?
Bronka Hajjar: Yeah, it was... hey, how's Laura?
Toshiko Rikuo: Yeah. She's a little shaken up, but trying to hide it. Badly.
Toshiko Rikuo: She said she's just gonna go to bed. I let her know that if she changed her mind, we'd probably be up for a while.
Lorne Hazlewood: Anyway... long story short... most of our modern day fire safety pracautions come from that one event.
Tr1ck Shot: Six hundred'll do that, I guess.
Bronka Hajjar: Yeah, like did they do *anything* right?
Toshiko Rikuo: Didn't sound like it.
Lorne Hazlewood: Actually a fire marshal checked the place repeatedly and pointed out several problems with their building.
Lorne Hazlewood: But nothing was enforced.. so the owners just ignored it because they were "fire proof."
Tr1ck Shot: Like the Titanic was sink proof?
Lorne Hazlewood: Indeed.
Bronka Hajjar: What exactly did they base this "fire proof" claim on?
Lorne Hazlewood: Not sure.
Lorne Hazlewood: The building was tore down a few years after the fire... like maybe 15... 20...
Tr1ck Shot: Did they think wood and fibers don't burn?
Lorne Hazlewood: Another theatre was built... but to this day... the alley where the people were pushed or jumped still feels cold year around... no one likes to go down it and when they do they claim they can hear faint screams.
Toshiko Rikuo: Okay, that's just creepy.
Lorne Hazlewood: The theatre there now is currently vacant as well... closed like 20 or 30 years ago.
Lorne Hazlewood: As far as I know though it has all of the current proper fire precautions.
Toshiko Rikuo: Well... yeah! Who would want to go there?
Bronka Hajjar: I'm totally going there if I'm ever in Chicago.
Tr1ck Shot: Not exactly a great location.
Tr1ck Shot: Except for tourists.
Lorne Hazlewood takes a swig of his coke.
Toshiko Rikuo: It's like... sending a luxury liner right over the Titanic wreck. *shudders*
Lorne Hazlewood: Well I managed to scare some one to running away with my story... let's see what you guys got.
Tr1ck Shot: More like digging out the titanic and building a new boat inside it's skeleton. Sortof.
Lorne Hazlewood: Well actually the second theatre they built in its place did exactly that.
Lorne Hazlewood: They left it still standing, gutted it, remodeled and opened it up again.
Lorne Hazlewood: It didn't last very long.
Bronka Hajjar: No kidding
Lorne Hazlewood: The next people who bought it knocked it down completely and rebuilt from the ground up.
Lorne Hazlewood: That one lasted 50 or 60 years.
Bronka Hajjar: I'd have just gone and put an entirely different kind of business there.
Bronka Hajjar: ... Like a fireworks factory.
Lorne Hazlewood laughs.
Lorne Hazlewood: I'm sure that would have gone over great.
Bronka Hajjar: I'm sure business would be booming.
Tr1ck Shot: When in doubt, build a Starbucks.
Lorne Hazlewood: I don't think they had those in 1926.

[Lorne Hazlewood]

Toshiko Rikuo: I don't think my story will scare anyone out of the room. Like I said, I suck at telling stories.
Bronka Hajjar: That's okay. We suck at listening.
Toshiko Rikuo laughs.
Lorne Hazlewood: Well I'm ready.
Lorne Hazlewood makes himself comfy.
Tr1ck Shot: Shoot.
Bronka Hajjar: I've got a clear path to the door... I'm ready. Lay it on us.
Toshiko Rikuo: I read this in a book when I was a kid and it still creeps me out to this day. And you guys have probably heard it.
Lorne Hazlewood: Is it about a guy with a hook for a hand?
Toshiko Rikuo: Nope.
Toshiko Rikuo: Although I could tell that one.
Lorne Hazlewood: Good cause hook hand stories are so cliche...
Lorne Hazlewood: Maybe later... let's hear what you got.
Lorne Hazlewood takes another sip of his coke.
Tr1ck Shot: Now I'm gonna have to find a hook hand story.
Toshiko Rikuo: Okay. So this girl wakes up one morning and she's got a red spot on her cheek. But being a teenager, she figures it's a zit and puts her cream on it and covers it with make up and off to school she goes.
Lorne Hazlewood: Zits... horrifying!
Bronka Hajjar makes like she's gonna bolt for the door
Toshiko Rikuo grins and shakes her head.
Bronka Hajjar: Okay, go on.
Tr1ck Shot: NO DON"T!
Tr1ck Shot: Ok, now.
Toshiko Rikuo: So anyway, she wakes up the next morning and the spot is a little bigger. But there's a big dance coming up so she just chalks it up to stress and does the same thing. Cream and make up.
Lorne Hazlewood finds himself listening very intently wondering where this is going.
Toshiko Rikuo: This continues every morning for a week, until the girl is forced to cover the spot with a bandaid and make a doctor's appointment to get it looked at. After all it could have gotten infected or something.
Lorne Hazlewood starts to think he knows where this is going.
Toshiko Rikuo: So the girl goes to the doctor and the doctor decides the area needs to be lanced to drain it and allow it to heal again.
Toshiko Rikuo: But when the doctor cut into the red bump, instead of blood, dozens of tiny little spiders came pouring out across the girl's face.
Bronka Hajjar: Eww, gross!
Lorne Hazlewood grins having heard this one before but still loving it.
Toshiko Rikuo: See, a spider had crawled across her cheek in the night and laid eggs in her skin. The bump growing was them maturing.
Toshiko Rikuo: And now, I'll never sleep soundly again. *shudders*
Lorne Hazlewood: I'm totally getting a red magic marker and a house spider.
Tr1ck Shot: That's gross.
Toshiko Rikuo: So yeah. That's what I had.
Lorne Hazlewood: Ahhhh spiders in your face...
Bronka Hajjar: Great. No sleep for me tonight. Or... ever...
Lorne Hazlewood: I watched this movie once where this witch cursed a guy so that every time he lied a tarantula would crawl out of his mouth.
Toshiko Rikuo: Blech!
Bronka Hajjar: Harsh, but kinda awesome too.
Lorne Hazlewood: It got me thinking about if you could curse people... like if there was some one who really deserved it and you could curse them with anything... what would you curse them with?
Tr1ck Shot: He'd have hairs stuck in his mouth forever
Bronka Hajjar: I'd curse someone so everything they ate tasted like liver.
Lorne Hazlewood: Good one!
Tr1ck Shot: It depends on what they like.
Lorne Hazlewood: Ok... say they like stealing french fries.
Lorne Hazlewood: They never get french fries for themselves... they just steal yours.
Tr1ck Shot: No more sense of taste.
Toshiko Rikuo: I heard a good one once. Not sure where. It was a deadbeat dad and he was cursed that every piece of paper he touched that wasn't a child support check would give him a paper cut.
Tr1ck Shot: Smell, but no taste.
Bronka Hajjar laughs
Bronka Hajjar: That's great, Tosh.
Lorne Hazlewood: Oh geeze... that's awful.
Lorne Hazlewood: Paper cuts suck.
Lorne Hazlewood: You see... I'd get super creative with mine.
Lorne Hazlewood: Like... really awful and weird...
Lorne Hazlewood: Like curse some one so that their nose hair and their ear hair would just grow out constantly...
Lorne Hazlewood: And then they'd get tangled and knotted up together.
Lorne Hazlewood: And then anytime they did the offending behavior which caused the curse the hair would just suddenly constrict as tight as it could.
Toshiko Rikuo: Yikes!
Lorne Hazlewood: Naturally a few of the nose hairs would pull out completely each time this happened.
Toshiko Rikuo: Remind me never to piss you off.
Epic Scale approaches the group
Lorne Hazlewood: Trev!
Epic Scale: BOO
Tr1ck Shot: I did that, too!
Lorne Hazlewood: Uh...
Bronka Hajjar: Hey Trev, you're just in time to tell a story.
Lorne Hazlewood: Ahh!
Toshiko Rikuo: You missed the story about spiders.
Lorne Hazlewood motions to the chips and drinks on the bench to his right.
Lorne Hazlewood: Help yourself.
Epic Scale snags, noms
Tr1ck Shot: Sup, Trev?
Epic Scale: Oh, man. Good day. How about you guys?
Toshiko Rikuo: Alright day.
Lorne Hazlewood: Actually we were discussing awful curses we might cast on people if we could and they really deserved it.
Epic Scale: May you get what you always wanted.
Epic Scale grins, eats a chip
Lorne Hazlewood: What... really?
Epic Scale: What do you really really want, Lorne?
Lorne Hazlewood: I... I don't know...
Epic Scale grins
Lorne Hazlewood: So the curse is they get one thing they always wanted but they have to choose and it's really hard to do that?
Epic Scale: Nope. Well, maybe for some people.
Lorne Hazlewood: Ok... hypothetical... I'm super greedy. I always wanted to be filthy stinking rich.
Epic Scale: May you share a single wish with a friend?
Lorne Hazlewood: How is making me filthy stinking rich a curse?
Epic Scale: Depends. It might bury you in manure, which is valuable.
Epic Scale: Or in gold, which is all crushy.
Toshiko Rikuo: Nice.
Epic Scale: or it might go the monkey paw route, and have like your aunt die and you get the insurance.
Bronka Hajjar: Yeah, but none of that is in your curse.
Epic Scale: It's not NOT in there, either.
Lorne Hazlewood: The curse of vagueness...
Epic Scale: Hey, Chinese curse. May you live in interesting times.
Bronka Hajjar: We all got saddled with that one.
Lorne Hazlewood: My life is nothing if not interesting.
Lorne Hazlewood takes a sip of his coke.
Epic Scale: We must have made someone angry.
Lorne Hazlewood burps quietly and excuses himself.
Epic Scale: So what stories have been told?
Lorne Hazlewood: I told a story about the worst single building fire in US history... Tosh told a story about a spider laying eggs in your face while you sleep.
Epic Scale: Nasty.
Epic Scale takes a gulp of soda
Lorne Hazlewood: I'd heard it before... but it was totally worth hearing again.
Lorne Hazlewood: Anyway... you got one or does some one else need to go first?
Epic Scale: Oh, fine.
Epic Scale: Who likes clowns?
Toshiko Rikuo: Clowns are evil.
Lorne Hazlewood: Does anyone LIKE clowns?
Epic Scale: So a friend of mine, she was babysitting for this rich couple one time, right?
Lorne Hazlewood nods and gets comfy.
Epic Scale: Kids are kids, she feeds them, gets them to bed, it's a nice evening.
Epic Scale: Anyway, she's watching TV in the main living room, but there's something creeping her out. There's this statue in the corner of the room, about three feet tall.
Epic Scale: It's a clown. Oh yeah. And not a cheerful, new statue, but like an antique. Peeling paint. And the eyes, man. She said they kept watching her.
Epic Scale: Finally she gets up and goes in to the master bedroom to watch TV, because the damn statue keeps creeping her out.
Epic Scale takes a sip of soda.
Lorne Hazlewood finds himself sitting on the edge of his seat.
Epic Scale: About ten o'clock, the parents call. She chats with them, says everything's fine, and then mentions that she moved into the bedroom because the clown statue was creeping her out.
Epic Scale: There's this long silence, and the mom says, "Get the kids and get to the neighbor's house. We don't have a clown statue."
Epic Scale o.o
Epic Scale: Turns out it was this escaped mental patient, a midget. The cops came, but they never found the guy.
Bronka Hajjar: Wow.
Epic Scale drinks again
Epic Scale: True story.
Toshiko Rikuo shivers.
Lorne Hazlewood: There is no way that story is true.
Lorne Hazlewood thinks about what he just said... and where he lives...
Lorne Hazlewood: It is very unlikely that that story is true.
Epic Scale: Well, it happened to a friend of mine. Or one of her friends. I don't remember.
Epic Scale: But it was here in Paragon.
Bronka Hajjar: What was this friend's name?
Epic Scale: Erica.
Bronka Hajjar: You'll have to introduce us. We can ask her about it.
Bronka Hajjar: I mean, it's a very fascinating story. I want to hear more.
Epic Scale: She went crazy. Had to be put in an asylum
Epic Scale nods
Lorne Hazlewood: That was one creepy clown.
Toshiko Rikuo: See? Evil clowns.
Bronka Hajjar: I'm only scared of clowns if they're packing missile launchers.
Tr1ck Shot: If she was crazy, was the clown real?
Bronka Hajjar: Or have... really big floppy shoes...
Bronka Hajjar shudders
Epic Scale gets some more chips
Epic Scale: Oh, it's a shoe thing.
Epic Scale: I see how it is.
Lorne Hazlewood: Remember... you can't have man slaughter without laughter.
Tr1ck Shot: Your feet are a little creepy, I'm not gonna lie.
Toshiko Rikuo sips on her root beer.

[Lorne Hazlewood]

Lorne Hazlewood: Ok... so who's next?
Bronka Hajjar: You got a hook hand story ready Ar, or shall I go?
Tr1ck Shot: Still googling.
Tr1ck Shot: Go ahead.
Lorne Hazlewood leans back against the arm opposite of B and munches on some chips.
Bronka Hajjar: Okay, I'm not sure I'm going to tell this well, but I have a true story.
Bronka Hajjar: It's like Trev's, except it's really true.
Lorne Hazlewood: I was gonna ask.
Epic Scale: Hey!
Epic Scale: Poor Erica. Poor crazy, crazy Erica.
Bronka Hajjar: Also like Trev's, it happened to a friend of mine. Her name is Anna.
Tr1ck Shot: She shouldn't be making up stuff about clowns.
Bronka Hajjar: Anna was my best friend in Cote d'Ivoire.
Bronka Hajjar: Her parents were.. well, my parent's house servants.
Epic Scale: Huh.
Bronka Hajjar: They weren't from Abidjan. They were from up country, near Bouake.
Lorne Hazlewood sips his coke listening quietly.
Bronka Hajjar: Which is kind of a... well, kind of a bad part of the country. There was a lot of rebel activity there during the civil war.
Epic Scale gets some more Mountain Dew, the hiss of the bottle VERY loud in the room. "Gah...sorry."
Bronka Hajjar: Okay, so about a year ago, Anna went back to Bouake to spend a couple weeks with her grandmother.
Toshiko Rikuo jumps a little and stares at Trev for a moment.
Bronka Hajjar: While she was there, she met this guy, Niko, and they sort of hit it off.
Bronka Hajjar: When it was time to come home, Niko tells Anna that he can save her the cost of a bus fare, because he and his brother Faku were going to drive to Abidjan in his brother's new truck.
Bronka Hajjar: And yes, his name really was Faku. Deal with it.
Lorne Hazlewood grins a toothy grin.
Epic Scale: Awesome.
Bronka Hajjar: Of course, this truck was only new in the sense that Faku had just bought it. The thing was at least thirty years old. A white pickup.
Bronka Hajjar: So it's probably a dumb idea to drive cross-country with these guys, but Anna was seriously crushing on Niko, plus she's thinking of all the stuff she can buy with the money her parents gave her for a bus ticket, so she says yes.
Bronka Hajjar: The trip starts okay, but then Faku announces that he knows a way better route than the main highway.
Toshiko Rikuo: Oh yeah. This'll end well.
Bronka Hajjar: So they turn off onto a side road. And then a dirt track. And then a trail. And finally they're going cross-country, with Faku insisting they're going to hit a good road any minute now.
Bronka Hajjar: Anna said she was sure the truck was going to just shake apart.
Bronka Hajjar: Anyway, it gets dark before they find this road, and Niko suggests that they just stop and get some sleep, 'cause they might miss the road in the dark.
Lorne Hazlewood is really nervous about where this is going...
Bronka Hajjar: Faku says that's a good idea, and just then they notice some light ahead, from what looks like a fire.
Bronka Hajjar: So Faku drives towards the light, figuring that whoever's there might know where the road is.
Bronka Hajjar: They get to the fire, and it looks like some kind of military convoy is camped there. There's like, three or four army trucks and a jeep and a bunch of tents. But no soldiers. Or like, anyone.
Bronka Hajjar: They call out, 'cause they don't want to get shot by accident. Or on purpose. There's no answer.
Epic Scale has apparently forgotten about his drink
Bronka Hajjar: This is freakin' them out a little, but then Faku and Niko decide that if no one's there... then maybe, you know... they can look around for anything useful.
Bronka Hajjar: To steal, if I'm not being clear there.
Epic Scale nods. "Cue screaming"
Lorne Hazlewood is completely absorbed in the story.
Lorne Hazlewood finds himself inadvertently hushing Trev.
Bronka Hajjar: They walk up slowly, still calling out, in case there are people there asleep or something. Still no answer.
Epic Scale doesn't even notice
Bronka Hajjar: They get right up to where the tents are, still not seeing or hearing anyone, so they steel themselves and look in one of the tents.
Bronka Hajjar: There's a couple of cots and some gear. No one's on the cots, but each one has like, a little pile of sand on it.
Bronka Hajjar: Faku goes in and checks it out, but it's just ordinary sand.
Epic Scale: Just...sand.
Epic Scale: Hey Jo.
Bronka Hajjar: Oh, I should point out that this is actually a pretty rocky area. So it's not like there's sand all over the place.
Jo Puckett: Hey... What's going on?
Bronka Hajjar: Hey Jo!
Lorne Hazlewood jumps a bit at Jo's approach.
Lorne Hazlewood: Oh, hey Jo!
Lorne Hazlewood motions to the bench to his right.
Bronka Hajjar: I'm telling a story about my friend Anna and some guys she travelled with.
Lorne Hazlewood: Chips and drinks over here.
Bronka Hajjar sips her root beer
Jo Puckett: Thanks, Lorne.
Toshiko Rikuo: Hey, Jo.
Jo Puckett: Sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt.
Bronka Hajjar: It's okay. People have been coming and going all night.
Bronka Hajjar: Okay, where was I?
Toshiko Rikuo: Sand.
Lorne Hazlewood: Piles of sand.
Jo Puckett: I heard... Yeah, that.
Bronka Hajjar: Right, piles of sand on the cots.
Bronka Hajjar: So they look in the other tents. Same thing. Little piles of sand on each cot.
Bronka Hajjar: They look around the area, and they notice there are more little piles of sand by the trucks, and by the fire, and a couple around the perimeter.
Bronka Hajjar: But still, it's just sand, right? I mean, it's weird, but not bizarrely weird.
Epic Scale ...
Bronka Hajjar: Faku figures the coast is clear, so he starts loading some stuff into his pickup.
Bronka Hajjar: I don't know what all he grabbed. I think it was food and some cooking equipment and some blankets.
Bronka Hajjar: While he's doing that, Niko goes exploring.
Bronka Hajjar: Anna sits by the fire, 'cause it's pretty cold.
Bronka Hajjar: Then Niko calls out that he's found something. Anna doesn't want to move, so Faku stops looting and heads out to where Niko is.
Bronka Hajjar: Anna waits about five minutes, and then she hears a gunshot from the direction they went.
Lorne Hazlewood swallows hard.
Toshiko Rikuo winces.
Epic Scale is riveted
Bronka Hajjar: This totally freaks her out, of course. She just panics completely.
Bronka Hajjar: Then she hears some shouting, but she can't make out who it is or what they're saying. Then there's another gunshot, but closer this time. And she hears people running.
Bronka Hajjar: That's too much for her, so she runs over to Faku's truck and hides under it.
Epic Scale nods
Bronka Hajjar: As soon as she's under the truck, suddenly everything is quiet.
Bronka Hajjar: No more shouting or running.
Bronka Hajjar: She waits for what feels like an hour.
Bronka Hajjar: Then she hears another gunshot, but she can't tell what direction it came from.
Bronka Hajjar: A minute later, Faku comes running towards the truck. He's looks terrified out of his wits.
Bronka Hajjar: He jumps into the truck and tries to start it up.
Bronka Hajjar: But it won't start. The engine just revs but doesn't turn over.
Lorne Hazlewood bites his lip.
Bronka Hajjar: And of course, Anna's underneath it thinking she don't want to be underneath it when it finally starts.
Bronka Hajjar: But when she tries to scramble out, her jacket gets caught on something in the undercarriage.
Lorne Hazlewood goes wide eyed.
Epic Scale: For suck
Bronka Hajjar: She's starts tugging and squirming and whatever trying to get free.
Bronka Hajjar: Finally, she gets loose. Just then, she realizes that the engine sounds have stopped.
Bronka Hajjar: And everything is silent again.
Bronka Hajjar: She calls Faku's name, but he doesn't answer.
Bronka Hajjar: She figures she's gotta do something, so... she rolls out from under the truck, stands up, and opens the passenger side door.
Bronka Hajjar: Faku's not there.
Bronka Hajjar: But in the driver's seat...
Bronka Hajjar: ... there's a little pile of sand.
Bronka Hajjar: Anna shuts the door, and then she looks in the back of the truck. No one there.
Toshiko Rikuo just stares, completely enthralled.
Tr1ck Shot stops googling.
Bronka Hajjar: But she hears someone else running towards the truck.
Bronka Hajjar: And she figures, she doesn't care who it is, she wants to see another person.
Bronka Hajjar: So she peeks around the back of the truck and sees that it's Niko.
Bronka Hajjar: Niko sees her and screams at her to get in the truck.
Bronka Hajjar: So she does, and Niko jumps into the driver's seat, and he manages to get the thing started.
Bronka Hajjar: And as they're driving off, there's a few gunshots. A bullet actually goes through the driver side door.
Bronka Hajjar: Then there's even more gunshots, but they don't seem to be aimed at them anymore.
Bronka Hajjar: Niko is just flooring the thing, and the truck is bouncing around like nobody's business and again Anna is convinced the thing is gonna fall apart.
Bronka Hajjar: She totally wants to ask Niko what happened, and if they're gonna go back to look for Faku, but it's impossible with all the shaking.
Bronka Hajjar: Then suddenly the ride gets smoother. They found Faku's road!
Bronka Hajjar: But Niko keeps the gas on. He's sort of mumbling to himself, his focus totally on the road ahead. He doesn't even seem to notice Anna at all.
Bronka Hajjar: She's screaming at him, trying to ask what happened. He doesn't answer. He doesn't even seem to hear her. Finally she just gives up.
Bronka Hajjar: And you know, she starts to come down from the excitement. Plus she's like, exhausted, 'cause it's the middle of the night and they got no sleep.
Bronka Hajjar: So she falls asleep.
Tr1ck Shot murmurs, "Dumb."
Jo Puckett shakes her head slowly.
Epic Scale drinks
Bronka Hajjar: When she wakes up, the truck is parked by the side of the road. Niko is slumped over the wheel.
Bronka Hajjar: She goes to wake him up... that's when she notices the blood.
Lorne Hazlewood gets wide eyed.
Bronka Hajjar: He had three bullets in him.
Bronka Hajjar: He bled out. It was a lucky thing he didn't crash the truck.
Bronka Hajjar: Lucky for Anna, I mean. Didn't really make a difference to him anymore.
Bronka Hajjar: So yeah, she was able to flag down a passing car, and fortunately it was some U.N. guys and they got her back to Abidjan okay.
Lorne Hazlewood is still completely silent.
Lorne Hazlewood finally speaks.
Lorne Hazlewood: Did... did they ever find out what was up with the camp?
Bronka Hajjar: No one could find it. Not that there was an extensive search or anything. But there were helicopter passes.
Bronka Hajjar: My dad was able to find out that there were no official military patrols or convoys or expeditions or whatever in that area. No troops were missing or anything.
Epic Scale: Wow.
Bronka Hajjar: Of course, just 'cause they were army trucks doesn't mean they were army.
Tr1ck Shot: Any unaccounted for piles of sand?
Bronka Hajjar: Lots of crap happens upcountry.
Epic Scale: Apparently. Geez.
Bronka Hajjar looks at Ar "well, the beach was looking a little less pristine that week."
Bronka Hajjar sticks her tongue out
Epic Scale: I'd rather mess with midget psycho clowns ANY day.
Jo Puckett smirks.
Tr1ck Shot: Ok, that was way creepier than what I found.
Lorne Hazlewood: I'm going to have a nightmare where clown tear out of my face and begin jumping down one by one until their dead bodies form a cushion for the others to escape... and then I turn to sand.
Lorne Hazlewood: *clowns
Epic Scale: You are a sick, sick man.
Tr1ck Shot: We already knew this.
Jo Puckett: Just don't go to sleep. No nightmares, then.
Bronka Hajjar: You forgot the spiders, Lorne.
Jo Puckett grins at Lorne.
Epic Scale: That's my plan.
Jo Puckett grins, too.
Tr1ck Shot: Not a bad plan. Toss me a Dew?
Toshiko Rikuo: Lots of Red Bulls.
Bronka Hajjar sips her root beer
Jo Puckett turns around to hunt for a Dew on the bench.
Jo Puckett tosses a can to Ar.
Jo Puckett: Here you go.

[Lorne Hazlewood]

Lorne Hazlewood: Ar... do you want to make it so that it all starts when I pick at it with my hook hand?
Tr1ck Shot: I mean, it's not really a creepy or scary-- *catches* Thanks-- story.
Tr1ck Shot: But it does have a hook hand.
Epic Scale switches to Coke, pops the lid
Bronka Hajjar: That's all we ask.
Tr1ck Shot: Alright, you've been warned.
Tr1ck Shot: So this one is also 'apparently' true.
Jo Puckett: They all are...
Epic Scale: Sheesh.
Lorne Hazlewood: Actually go ahead... I gotta run to the bathroom.
Tr1ck Shot: Wuss.
Lorne Hazlewood: Excuse me.
Lorne Hazlewood heads off towards the restroom.
Tr1ck Shot: Anyway, back in the eighties this kid was born without a hand.
Tr1ck Shot: Left, I think.
Toshiko Rikuo: He's just afraid of freakier nightmares.
Tr1ck Shot: It wasn't anything genetic or radioactive or anything. Just some freak accident with the hormones and all that junk.
Tr1ck Shot: Healthy kid, short one hand.
Epic Scale: A mutant.
Epic Scale grins a little
Tr1ck Shot: Not genetic.
Tr1ck Shot: But anyway, 'round one and a half years old, the doctors give him a prosthetic arm.
Tr1ck Shot: At the end is a tiny little baby hook. It's all covered in plastic with no sharp edges.
Bronka Hajjar: Awww...
Tr1ck Shot: As adorable as hook hands can be.
Toshiko Rikuo munches on some cheese puffs, grinning.
Tr1ck Shot: He takes to it, wears it all over. The doctors are proud, the parents are proud, it's all happy.
Bronka Hajjar: Yay!
Tr1ck Shot: A year or two later, he's playing horsie with his dad.
Tr1ck Shot: Dad's a big guy, real sturdy. Kid weighs all of nothing, even with the mecha-arm on.
Tr1ck Shot: The boy gets real excited and yells out "GIDDY-UP!"
Tr1ck Shot: And brings his left arm down.
Tr1ck Shot: Waves it down hard.
Toshiko Rikuo winces.
Tr1ck Shot: Right where the bone meets-
MELVIL flickers on.
Tr1ck Shot: MELVIL
Toshiko Rikuo jumps and shrieks a little.
Epic Scale: Uh, hey Mel.
Tr1ck Shot: Lorne brought the food.
Bronka Hajjar: Uh... what a surprise twist!
MELVIL: Hello there, My name is MELVIL. How may I help you today?
Tr1ck Shot: He made me drink.
Toshiko Rikuo: No, we're okay, MELVIL.
Tr1ck Shot: But thanks.
MELVIL: Hello there. My name is MELVIL. How may I help you today?
Bronka Hajjar: I'm good MELVIL. Don't need anything right now.
Jo Puckett looks curiously up at the apparition.
Jo Puckett: Is he stuck?
Tr1ck Shot: Tosh, it's broken.
Epic Scale: If he turns into a clown or a pile of sand, I'm leaving.
Toshiko Rikuo: Really, MELVIL. We're fine.
MELVIL: -y name is MELVIL. How may I help you today?
Toshiko Rikuo rolls her eyes. "Great."
Bronka Hajjar: All good here, MELVIL. Really.
Tr1ck Shot: Tooo-ooosh.
MELVIL: -ow may I help you today?
Toshiko Rikuo: *I* didn't do it!
MELVIL: -I help you today?
Tr1ck Shot: But you're the one who can think at it and make it shut up.
Jo Puckett: I think he's getting worse.
MELVIL: -I help-
Toshiko Rikuo: I'm working on it. Hang on.
Toshiko Rikuo goes into a trance and gets into the system.
Bronka Hajjar: Sounds like a cry for...
MELVIL: -help-
Epic Scale: ...
MELVIL: -help-
MELVIL: -help-
MELVIL: -help-
Epic Scale: Help how, Mel?
Bronka Hajjar: Are *you* okay, MELVIL?
MELVIL: -help-
Epic Scale: Is Timmy stuck in the well?
Tr1ck Shot: Anything funny in there, Tosh?
MELVIL: -help-
MELVIL: -help-
MELVIL: -help-
MELVIL: -help-
Jo Puckett scowls at Trev.
Bronka Hajjar: Is there an off switch anywhere?
MELVIL: -help-
Jo Puckett: Or a box we can kick.
MELVIL switches off again.
Toshiko Rikuo: Weird...
Toshiko Rikuo shakes her head and blinks at the group.
Jo Puckett: Or... he could just vanish.
Tr1ck Shot: Up in the lab?
Toshiko Rikuo: I shut it off for now.
Tr1ck Shot: Or in Tosh's head.
Epic Scale: That was just creepy.
Tr1ck Shot: She's our walking remote.
Bronka Hajjar: Should we report that to someone?
Toshiko Rikuo: I couldn't see any code that was messed up but that doesn't mean anything.
Epic Scale: Yeah, but who's awake right now?
Toshiko Rikuo raises her hand.
Tr1ck Shot: Anyhoo, kid knocked his dad's skull apart from his spine. Sad day. Hook hand strikes again.
Bronka Hajjar: Well, in the morning, I meant.
Jo Puckett: I'm think yeah. He's either got a glitch, or a spook jumped into him.
Tr1ck Shot: A 'spook'?
Bronka Hajjar: That's a terrible story, Ar.
Bronka Hajjar: Good job.
Bronka Hajjar gives a thumbs up
Tr1ck Shot: You're welcome.
Jo Puckett: Wait.. That's it? That's the story?
Epic Scale: It's no creepy pile of sand, but that'll work.,
Tr1ck Shot: The horsie didn't go when the kid yelled giddy-up.
Tr1ck Shot: Opposite, in fact.
Toshiko Rikuo: A spook? Seriously? Probably just a glitch. Or someone in the computer science class messing with us.
Bronka Hajjar: Ooo, if I find out that was someone's prank, there's gonna be an ass-kicking.
Lorne Hazlewood: Did I miss the good part of the hook hand story?
Tr1ck Shot: I wish I'd thought of it.
Epic Scale: I will TOTALLY watch.
Tr1ck Shot: The dad died. It was the hook hand that done it.
Lorne Hazlewood: Oh.
Tr1ck Shot: Cute and deadly.
Lorne Hazlewood spookily, "Ooooooh!"
Toshiko Rikuo: And MELVIL showed up. All spooky like.
Epic Scale: Like Bronka.
Tr1ck Shot: Never play horsie with captain hook.
Bronka Hajjar smiles at Trev
Lorne Hazlewood: MELVIL is spooky?
Epic Scale: Yeah, Mel was creeping me out.
Tr1ck Shot: Glitchy, but close.
Bronka Hajjar: MELVIL is spooky when he repeats himself.
Epic Scale: Kept twitching and saying help.
Epic Scale: Also the screaming of lost and damned souls. Could have been the ice machine.
Lorne Hazlewood: Oh... weird.
Tr1ck Shot: You get those confused, too?
Epic Scale nods
Lorne Hazlewood: Not the ice machine... I totally get that.
Toshiko Rikuo looks more irritated than anything.
Tr1ck Shot: Can't say how many lost souls I've dug around in for ice.
Bronka Hajjar: Has MELVIL ever malfunctioned before?
Lorne Hazlewood thinks.
Toshiko Rikuo: Well, there were bugs when he was first installed. But never like that.
Tr1ck Shot: Any new updates?
Lorne Hazlewood: Yeah... a little glitchy at first.
Toshiko Rikuo: Mostly it was just picking out the wrong books when asked for a subject.
Tr1ck Shot: Or just someone poking around and not cleaning up behind themselves.
Toshiko Rikuo: Not that I know of. But I don't maintain him.
Jo Puckett: Maybe he overheard the stories and thought he'd creep us out.
Toshiko Rikuo: Trust me. If someone's messed with the program, Mr. Herrera will find them.
Tr1ck Shot: Problem solved.
Epic Scale: He scares me.
Epic Scale: I totally didn't mess with Mel.
Lorne Hazlewood: Well... so...
Tr1ck Shot: I want to, but I didn't.
Lorne Hazlewood grabs himself another soda.
Bronka Hajjar: I wouldn't have the first clue how to mess with MELVIL.
Lorne Hazlewood leans forward resting his elbows on the back of the chair.
Epic Scale: There's that, too.
Lorne Hazlewood opens up the can and takes a drink.
Toshiko Rikuo: It's some pretty complicated coding...
Lorne Hazlewood: I'm a nerd... but I'm not like... that kinda nerd.
Bronka Hajjar: I'm so useless with gadgets, if I tried to screw with him, I'd probably end up upgrading him somehow by accident.
Tr1ck Shot: Jo's turn?
Toshiko Rikuo: Looks like.
Bronka Hajjar: Got a scary story for us, Jo?
Lorne Hazlewood: Go Jo!
Toshiko Rikuo stares at Lorne.
Epic Scale: Lay it on us.
Jo Puckett: Oh, I don't think so. I don't know that I know any...
Tr1ck Shot: This is why everyone needs google.
Bronka Hajjar: Or stupid friends.
Jo Puckett: Maybe so, but I didn't look any up, and some of us can't do it on the fly.
Toshiko Rikuo: Hmmm... well, I'm tapped for scary stories.
Lorne Hazlewood: Yeah... I'm kinda beat.
Epic Scale nods
Epic Scale: Same here.
Epic Scale: AND hopped up on Mountain Dew. Woot.
Jo Puckett: Terrible combination.
Toshiko Rikuo: And scared senseless?
Epic Scale: Nah. Already senseless.
Tr1ck Shot: Of tiny little hooks?
Lorne Hazlewood twitches.
Epic Scale: I might shriek if I see any sand, though.
Tr1ck Shot laughs.
Tr1ck Shot: Where's Seth when you need him?
Epic Scale: For real.
Bronka Hajjar: I wonder where Seth was that night, eh?
Epic Scale: I'm gonna go lie in bed until about two. Later, all!
Bronka Hajjar: Later, Trev.
Toshiko Rikuo: Probably flirting if I know Seth.
Tr1ck Shot: Fun times?
Jo Puckett: G'night, Trev.
Toshiko Rikuo: Later, Trev.
Lorne Hazlewood: Wait isn't Seth from... nah... I'm gonna like... not think about that.
Jo Puckett smirks.
Jo Puckett: Scared of Seth, now?
Bronka Hajjar: Only if he gets a little baby hook.
Lorne Hazlewood: Anyone want anything else before I put this stuff away?
Tr1ck Shot: What isn't Lorne scared of now?
Jo Puckett: Nah, I'm good, Lorne.
Bronka Hajjar: Nah, I'm good. Thanks Lorne.
Toshiko Rikuo: No thanks, Lorne.
Tr1ck Shot: Pass.
Lorne Hazlewood piles the chips in the bag, grabs the cooler and heads out.
Lorne Hazlewood: Night guys!
Jo Puckett: Sounds like I missed one heckuva round of tall tales.
Bronka Hajjar: Lorne's story was pretty horrific.
Toshiko Rikuo: Oh yeah. Big time.
Tr1ck Shot: Bronka's won.
Bronka Hajjar: MELVIL was the scariest.
Tr1ck Shot: It was a good entrance.
Jo Puckett: And the "help" over and over again... Creepy. Majorly creepy.
Tr1ck Shot: Still wish I'd thought of it.
Toshiko Rikuo: I'm about convinced it was a prank. I'll let you know before Mr. Herrera finds out, Bronka.
Bronka Hajjar: Ah, I suppose if it was a prank, it was pretty good.
Tr1ck Shot: Brilliant.
Tr1ck Shot: Is MELVIL smart enough to prank us itself?
Toshiko Rikuo: I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, he's basically a big card catalog.
Jo Puckett: No brains at all?
Bronka Hajjar: Was Mr. uhh... the old librarian... was he the prankster type, you think?
Toshiko Rikuo: Mr Langdon? Not really.
Tr1ck Shot: He's kinda ruled out.
Toshiko Rikuo: No kidding.
Bronka Hajjar: Just curious.
Toshiko Rikuo: But yeah, MELVIL just hooks into the server. For the card catalog, library check out records... holds and fines.
Tr1ck Shot: Ghost in the machine?
Toshiko Rikuo: I think you've been listening to too many ghost stories.
Tr1ck Shot shrugs. "That one's more about machines having souls anyway."
Bronka Hajjar: Yeah, it was probably just a simple glitch.
Toshiko Rikuo: I'm still betting on a prank.
Tr1ck Shot: It was a pretty clean degeneration.
Bronka Hajjar: I figure if it was a prank, they'd have had it say something freakier.
Toshiko Rikuo: Well, all the vocals are prerecorded.
Bronka Hajjar: Like "Kill all humans!" or something.
Jo Puckett: Prerecorded? So he's got a limited vocabulary, too?
Tr1ck Shot: It's not really a 'him'.
Tr1ck Shot: It's a talking search engine.
Toshiko Rikuo: Exactly.
Bronka Hajjar: *You're* a talking search engine.
Bronka Hajjar smirks
Tr1ck Shot: -But- the cool part is that it's a search engine that talks.
Tr1ck Shot: I am -so- much more.
Tr1ck Shot: On top of being a search engine that talks.
Toshiko Rikuo: Think of it like speech to text but in reverse.
Toshiko Rikuo: All the titles of books and his greetings and everything were recorded ahead of time and are just files in the program.
Tr1ck Shot: Who did the voice?
Jo Puckett: What happens when the library gets new books?
Toshiko Rikuo: A friend of Mr. Herrera. Nice guy.
Toshiko Rikuo: They call the guy back in and add new files.
Toshiko Rikuo: But we haven't had an update since the summer.
Tr1ck Shot: If it was MELVIL or someone trying to send a message, there're probably a hundred titles that would've worked better.
Tr1ck Shot: I'm with team bug.
Bronka Hajjar: Go bugs!
Bronka Hajjar makes buzzing sounds
Toshiko Rikuo laughs and rubs her forehead.
Toshiko Rikuo: Well, my brain is fried right now. I'll get some sleep then gather the geek squad hunting team. *grins*
Tr1ck Shot: Go geeks!
Bronka Hajjar: Happy hunting, Tosh.
Jo Puckett: Sounds like a fun rest of the weekend...
Toshiko Rikuo: Geeks unite!
Tr1ck Shot: You guys enjoy your Saturday.
Bronka Hajjar: I'll be with you in spirit.
Toshiko Rikuo: Uh huh. Night, you guys.
Tr1ck Shot: Night.
Bronka Hajjar: My body may be at the mall, but my spirit... all with you!
Bronka Hajjar: G'night.
Jo Puckett: G'night, Tosh.
Bronka Hajjar: I'm gonna crash too. My brain's going loopy.
Bronka Hajjar: Later guys.
Tr1ck Shot: The Mel bug is catching.
Jo Puckett: G'night. I'll be right behind you.
Jo Puckett: G'night, Ar.
Tr1ck Shot: Night.